I guess I finally get that old Stevie Nicks song. As my seventeenth birthday is less than a week away, I really am starting to reflect more on my old life. I am love-hating my mistakes. There's only one mistake in the world I regret more than anything. It may be the only occurence I would change in my life, yet I am to be tormented by it.

Now most people get special things before their seventeenth birthday, like cars, or their license; among other things that change their life. Especially in my classes. It's a weird feeling, you're in all these honors and Advanced Placement classes, knowing you're the only one still begging rides from your moms. I drive with my mom a lot and I know I am ready, Hell I even think I drive better than her. But the thing is I just can't appeal to some people or realize when I am good as gold. It's the very same thing that contributed to the failure of my life. I was in love.

I don't know how much I would give just for a word; a conversation; a second-chance. Some might say she infected me with this viral killer known as love. There isn't a day I haven't thought of her eyes and smile; why do I push these feelings aside?

I guess in all of this digression I've made you all go through, I'm trying to convey that as my body grows more mature, I never really will be. I may think that. I may know it. But I won't be. Don't get me wrong, I'm not crying over this matter; I simply can't. It wouldn't solve much, and I'd probably just screw myself over even more.

The future may be brighter, who knows? As for me, I need to get over myself. There are people with real problems rather than what's loved and lost. I just may always be waiting for her, but as I turn seventeen, it's important that I turn to look to the future, not the past. Who knows, maybe she's doing the same.